If I can't have France, I'll settle for... Missouri??

My dream of worming my way into France has been gaining momentum over the last few days. I was liking my chances of convincing (forcing) my mom to make the move, too. I decided that I want to stay within 300 km of Paris, which left me with oodles of options. The weather sounds nice, the scenery is lovely, France is impressive from an environmental perspective, healthcare to die for (more like live for since it's so good), one of the most beautiful languages in the world, you know all the reasons people want to move there. Ooh, and there's no quarantine for pets, which is a huge plus. How could this not be the best thing for me?

Well, it seems pretty silly for me to think of moving anywhere considering I have an impressive lack of funds. Taxes are very high there. I don't have a problem with that at all, if you want a high quality of life you have to pay for it. I simply can't afford it. After a bit of research of people who have made the move, I was practically in tears last night. It's a fantasy, at best, and that saddens me. Immensely. I want to live in Europe!!! :(

In waltzes Kansas City, MO. Huh? See, we were watching an episode of House Hunters recently (that show is so addicting), and a couple with two little girls wanted a house in Lee Summit, which is close to KC. So what? Umm... have you seen the housing prices there?!?!?! They bought a gorgeous house for $265,000. That same house in either Portland or Tampa would've easily been $600,000, trust me. It was swank. The kitchen alone was worth the price. After the credits rolled, we did a little searching of our own. You, we, anyone, can buy a 2-bedroom house there for... wait for it... $50,000!!!! What? FIFTY-FUCKING-THOUSAND-DOLLARS!!!!!!!! 5-0! And it was such a cute house, in very nice condition. I almost fainted.

Having lived in a house for years, and now living in an apartment again... I have to tell you, I hate it. On one side, our neighbors slam their door every time they come or go, which drives the dogs crazy. On the other side, the lady there has marathon cooking sessions and her food processor rattles our walls. Three apartments down, the dog that lives there shrieks all day long. Not barks, screams like it's dying whenever it's left alone, which is daily. We have no yard, the dogs have to go out near the walkway and people are always coming and going, making things difficult. I just, sigh, I hate it. Thing is, I doubt I will ever be able to afford a house here. $50,000 for a house? I could conceivably pull it off at some point in the future. All by myself. That could quite possibly complete me. <3

From a vegan standpoint, I'd fare pretty well in Kansas City. It's not as ass-backwards as I thought it was. LOL. And there's a football team! That's something I really miss, I gotta tell ya. And downtown is very pretty. It has an obscene amount of fountains, second only to Rome. Seriously. It's gorgeous. A girl could do all right for herself. The problem? Nightmarish weather. Year round! And it is still a very heavily meaty area. And there's a bit more religious influence than I'd care for. Mainly, it's just the weather. Within an hour, I'd already ruled it out.

There is nothing wrong with Portland. It has everything I want. Those housing prices, though. Sigh. No France? No Canada (I always keep that one in my back pocket)? No Missouri? I just don't know. The idea that I could actually own my own home makes me cry. So... blah.


Maybe.