Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Apparently they have insects in hell
Who knew? But it's true, I tell you! You'd think that, coming from Florida, I'd seen it all. At least that's what I thought. But no. Oh no, no, no. There exists a creature that could only be from hell itself. From hell!!!! Go find a nice, high, safe place to sit while I tell you about this. And turn on all the lights. *shudder*
One night, after I'd fed the dogs, we headed to the door to go potty (the dogs, not me). Squee was sitting on the stairs, staring at something. Sometimes she zones out, but just for fun I was all, "What are you looking at, pretty lady?" Ha. Well, just then something lunged at her from the carpet. From its perspective, the scene probably looked like this:
ATTACK!!!!
OH MY GOD!!!!!! It was horrible. It was 3 feet long... or maybe an inch and a half, but it seemed like 3 feet. And it had 80 sets of legs... or maybe 15, but still. And those legs were each 10 feet long... I still stand behind this estimate. And it was fast! So fast, the damn thing had racing stripes down its back. Squee jumped back, I jumped back, the dogs all jumped back. Somebody has to do something, I thought. I grabbed a shoe and beat that fucker senseless, screaming the entire time.
I think it's worth pointing out that I usually escort wayward travelers outside unharmed, especially spiders. Not knowing what this thing was, though, I fell back on that ol' philosophy of kill first, ask questions later. And I do not regret this.
The next morning I tried to convey the terror of the situation to my mother. She hopped online to find out what I'd seen. Turns out, it was a house centipede. A who?? That's such a mild name for such a horror of nature. I mean, look:
source
AHHHHHHHH!!!!!! D: AND THEY BITE, TOO!
She saw one a couple of weeks later. And then a week or so ago I was outside and happened to see one hanging out on the side of the building. I could feel it watching me the entire time. Ugh! I don't actually believe in hell, but that's the only place this thing could have originated from. Eww!
So if you see one, my advice to you is... run like hell!
On a side note, I love that picture of Squee. I was trying to get shots of her one day and she moved towards my phone as I snapped this one and it came out really cool. :)
One night, after I'd fed the dogs, we headed to the door to go potty (the dogs, not me). Squee was sitting on the stairs, staring at something. Sometimes she zones out, but just for fun I was all, "What are you looking at, pretty lady?" Ha. Well, just then something lunged at her from the carpet. From its perspective, the scene probably looked like this:
OH MY GOD!!!!!! It was horrible. It was 3 feet long... or maybe an inch and a half, but it seemed like 3 feet. And it had 80 sets of legs... or maybe 15, but still. And those legs were each 10 feet long... I still stand behind this estimate. And it was fast! So fast, the damn thing had racing stripes down its back. Squee jumped back, I jumped back, the dogs all jumped back. Somebody has to do something, I thought. I grabbed a shoe and beat that fucker senseless, screaming the entire time.
I think it's worth pointing out that I usually escort wayward travelers outside unharmed, especially spiders. Not knowing what this thing was, though, I fell back on that ol' philosophy of kill first, ask questions later. And I do not regret this.
The next morning I tried to convey the terror of the situation to my mother. She hopped online to find out what I'd seen. Turns out, it was a house centipede. A who?? That's such a mild name for such a horror of nature. I mean, look:
AHHHHHHHH!!!!!! D: AND THEY BITE, TOO!
She saw one a couple of weeks later. And then a week or so ago I was outside and happened to see one hanging out on the side of the building. I could feel it watching me the entire time. Ugh! I don't actually believe in hell, but that's the only place this thing could have originated from. Eww!
So if you see one, my advice to you is... run like hell!
On a side note, I love that picture of Squee. I was trying to get shots of her one day and she moved towards my phone as I snapped this one and it came out really cool. :)
Monday, May 16, 2011
Until the world ends
I had a Scarlett O'Hara moment last week. Dead or alive, I vowed, I was NOT leaving Portland. If I had to marry some random dumb schmuck, if I had to twist MrMissT's arm into letting me live with him, if I had to work 3 jobs, I would do it. The worst thing anyone can do to me is to force me to do something against my will. This isn't just wearing an outfit I hate, or going to someone's house for dinner. This is leaving the place that means most to me, in this country anyway. Every time I think I have the answer, though, something pulls me back down. The dogs. MrMissT would not help me care for them, and if I lived alone they would be alone all day with no one to let them out. Daycare (yes, they have daycare for dogs) is expensive, plus they don't get along with most other dogs, oh and let's not forget that I have no car to transport them anyway. Screwed!
I need my mom to watch them while I work. So, no matter what brilliant idea I have, it always comes back to them. It's almost funny. The things that mean most to me are the very things trapping me. At least with children you can explain things to them, make them understand the situation. You can't do that with dogs. Trapped. A storm of emotions is constantly swirling within me, none of them pleasant. In the pit of my stomach I feel certain that if I leave Portland I will never find my way back here again. And no amount of optimistic advice will change that.
I find escape where I can. I snatched up every Gena Showalter book the library had on Saturday. Sure, I've read them all, but I'm picky when it comes to romance authors, and I love her books. And Game of Thrones was on yesterday! That didn't go so well, though. I was 10 minutes late last night, so I started watching it through my DVR as it recorded. Neighbors kept making a ridiculous amount of noise outside, and as a result the dogs barked maniacally. I had the closed captioning on, but most of the insanity took place while Varys spoke to Ned Stark, and then again when Varys and Littlefinger were talking, which was very important! I was so pissed, I almost opened the door to scream at the jerks outside, but resisted. Then, 34 minutes in, the recording just stopped. Stopped! Maybe it's a fluke, I thought. So I started over. Stopped again. You've got to be kidding me. So I waited for the next time it aired. Finally, success! But, with all the attempts, I ended up having to see that horse lose its head 3 FUCKING TIMES!!!!!! *sigh*
Each week we get 3 free music downloads through the library. I've been using these to build my Christmas music collection, but I'm sad today, what with everything on my mind, and I'm not feeling particularly jolly. Screw the holidays, I thought. Get some pop! Lack of thought and depth, with a beat! I got 3 songs from Britney Spears' new album. I'm listening to them right now, actually. And I make no apologies!!!!
The basil plants all died. Two of the thyme sprouts kicked the bucket yesterday, but the other 4 are hanging on. The radishes are kicking ass, though. They'll be ready to harvest this weekend. And the lettuce (lettuces?) are doing very well. Tomato plants... eh. Yesterday MrMissT presented us with a small watermelon... from Mexico. *frown* Hmph.
Is anything going right? Yes, one thing. Lentil tacos. What? I know, sounds gross. I hate lentils. Hate! Isa Chandra posted a recipe for ancho lentil tacos on the PPK, which both repulsed and intrigued me. I decided to try it. I took the lazy way out, though, and just used a taco seasoning packet. I made refriedish black beans to go with, and the result... is surprisingly good. Yay, that means I don't have to shell out money for processed soy crumbles anymore! :D
There. Let's end it on a high note. Lentil tacos FTW!
I need my mom to watch them while I work. So, no matter what brilliant idea I have, it always comes back to them. It's almost funny. The things that mean most to me are the very things trapping me. At least with children you can explain things to them, make them understand the situation. You can't do that with dogs. Trapped. A storm of emotions is constantly swirling within me, none of them pleasant. In the pit of my stomach I feel certain that if I leave Portland I will never find my way back here again. And no amount of optimistic advice will change that.
I find escape where I can. I snatched up every Gena Showalter book the library had on Saturday. Sure, I've read them all, but I'm picky when it comes to romance authors, and I love her books. And Game of Thrones was on yesterday! That didn't go so well, though. I was 10 minutes late last night, so I started watching it through my DVR as it recorded. Neighbors kept making a ridiculous amount of noise outside, and as a result the dogs barked maniacally. I had the closed captioning on, but most of the insanity took place while Varys spoke to Ned Stark, and then again when Varys and Littlefinger were talking, which was very important! I was so pissed, I almost opened the door to scream at the jerks outside, but resisted. Then, 34 minutes in, the recording just stopped. Stopped! Maybe it's a fluke, I thought. So I started over. Stopped again. You've got to be kidding me. So I waited for the next time it aired. Finally, success! But, with all the attempts, I ended up having to see that horse lose its head 3 FUCKING TIMES!!!!!! *sigh*
Each week we get 3 free music downloads through the library. I've been using these to build my Christmas music collection, but I'm sad today, what with everything on my mind, and I'm not feeling particularly jolly. Screw the holidays, I thought. Get some pop! Lack of thought and depth, with a beat! I got 3 songs from Britney Spears' new album. I'm listening to them right now, actually. And I make no apologies!!!!
The basil plants all died. Two of the thyme sprouts kicked the bucket yesterday, but the other 4 are hanging on. The radishes are kicking ass, though. They'll be ready to harvest this weekend. And the lettuce (lettuces?) are doing very well. Tomato plants... eh. Yesterday MrMissT presented us with a small watermelon... from Mexico. *frown* Hmph.
Is anything going right? Yes, one thing. Lentil tacos. What? I know, sounds gross. I hate lentils. Hate! Isa Chandra posted a recipe for ancho lentil tacos on the PPK, which both repulsed and intrigued me. I decided to try it. I took the lazy way out, though, and just used a taco seasoning packet. I made refriedish black beans to go with, and the result... is surprisingly good. Yay, that means I don't have to shell out money for processed soy crumbles anymore! :D
There. Let's end it on a high note. Lentil tacos FTW!
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Table for one, please.
Everyone keeps saying that nothing is set in stone, but it seems quite likely that within the next one or two years I will be on my own. This is depressing because I was really looking forward to the life my mom and I were going to have. She's been presented with an opportunity that she should explore to the fullest, though, and I am happy for her. It's me I'm worried about.
It seems she will be moving to Kansas, which, coincidentally, sits comfortably in my list of top five most hated states in the country. Number one goes to Alabama, though I'm sure if I ever find myself in Arizona it'll quickly take over the top spot.
I've recently begun looking at studio apartments in the Portland area. I haven't seen a decent one for less than $500/month. $500 for a room with a kitchenette and a bathroom! That's crazy. In looking at the general area near where she will be, I don't see anything better. Sadly, it seems money goes further in Wichita. Me in Wichita, KS! As I perused the apartment listings I started to feel sad. Obviously I will be working full-time, somehow, and not as an artist. My dogs will be alone all day and probably piss off every neighbor within a five mile radius. I will come home and make myself a small meal, play with them some (the dogs, not the food), and go to bed. Then I'll get up and do it all over again. Why are you sad? I thought you were an island. This is what you've always wanted.
My weekend evenings are spent alone now. It's not so bad, but last night I realized that I will be alone all the time. For a split second it occurred to me that I should get married. Hi, Brad! I'm so excited for our date. Before we get to the restaurant, though, I think I should tell you something. I don't want to care for you, I just don't want to watch TV by myself for the rest of my life. By the way, I love that tie. It really brings out your eyes. What?! No. No no no.
A part of me wishes I could find someone who also doesn't want any kind of attachment, but that's the basis for a one-star romantic comedy, and I just can't have that. And as for a roommate, that isn't a permanent situation and you can't always rely on someone to hold up their end of things. Granted, you can't in any situation, but there's nothing holding them to it, ya know? No emotional bond. The same could be said of me, but I'm looking out for myself here, not someone else.
No, I want to do this on my own. Somehow. The obvious solution is to win the lottery so I can buy a house. Yeah, I'd still be alone, but I'd have my own space. So I'll start playing on Friday. In the meantime, I am still drawing, though it's hard to feel creative right now. I've also gained five pounds, but whatever. Maybe I'll gain another five just for fun.
My problem is that I'm not proactive. I just react to things. I don't know what I am going to do now. How's that for a reaction?
It seems she will be moving to Kansas, which, coincidentally, sits comfortably in my list of top five most hated states in the country. Number one goes to Alabama, though I'm sure if I ever find myself in Arizona it'll quickly take over the top spot.
I've recently begun looking at studio apartments in the Portland area. I haven't seen a decent one for less than $500/month. $500 for a room with a kitchenette and a bathroom! That's crazy. In looking at the general area near where she will be, I don't see anything better. Sadly, it seems money goes further in Wichita. Me in Wichita, KS! As I perused the apartment listings I started to feel sad. Obviously I will be working full-time, somehow, and not as an artist. My dogs will be alone all day and probably piss off every neighbor within a five mile radius. I will come home and make myself a small meal, play with them some (the dogs, not the food), and go to bed. Then I'll get up and do it all over again. Why are you sad? I thought you were an island. This is what you've always wanted.
My weekend evenings are spent alone now. It's not so bad, but last night I realized that I will be alone all the time. For a split second it occurred to me that I should get married. Hi, Brad! I'm so excited for our date. Before we get to the restaurant, though, I think I should tell you something. I don't want to care for you, I just don't want to watch TV by myself for the rest of my life. By the way, I love that tie. It really brings out your eyes. What?! No. No no no.
A part of me wishes I could find someone who also doesn't want any kind of attachment, but that's the basis for a one-star romantic comedy, and I just can't have that. And as for a roommate, that isn't a permanent situation and you can't always rely on someone to hold up their end of things. Granted, you can't in any situation, but there's nothing holding them to it, ya know? No emotional bond. The same could be said of me, but I'm looking out for myself here, not someone else.
No, I want to do this on my own. Somehow. The obvious solution is to win the lottery so I can buy a house. Yeah, I'd still be alone, but I'd have my own space. So I'll start playing on Friday. In the meantime, I am still drawing, though it's hard to feel creative right now. I've also gained five pounds, but whatever. Maybe I'll gain another five just for fun.
My problem is that I'm not proactive. I just react to things. I don't know what I am going to do now. How's that for a reaction?
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