Despite my habitual eye raping of the oblivious males in my general vicinity, I was shocked to learn that someone has been doing the same to me! Someone who lives in my building. Someone who lives right next door! Gah!!! A few weeks ago he told MrMissT, of all people, that he sees me when I take the dogs out and he thinks I'm sooo pretty and he likes my tattoos, and he wants to talk to me, but is afraid to. I have no idea what MrMissT said to this. I'm sure it was either, "Oh, she's great. So smart and nice, and she's an amazing cook!" -or- "Man, she is a vindictive psycho and I'm pretty sure she's plotting my demise as we speak. Steer clear of that one, before you wake up with your balls missing." Either way... *shrug*
I was flattered for about 8 minutes, but now I feel like I'm always being watched. I know he isn't waiting by the window for a glimpse of me, but I get paranoid. Thankfully, Romeo has yet to approach me, but I get super agitated when we're outside at the same time. I don't feel any vibe with this guy, and I'm not receptive to ANYONE right now, so I'm desperately hoping he never musters up the courage to say, "Hey there, sugar pants." Rejection is awful and I don't want to be the meanie here. Hopefully my mad dash scrambles back to the door aren't too obvious, but you never know. On the positive side, my sprint times are topnotch now!
A while back I wrote about how MrMissT is all up in my ish, and that's still the case. It's downright bizarre. I'm like some rare, exotic beetle trudging through the Amazon, and he's the obnoxious film crew that won't leave me alone. All that's missing is David Attenborough narrating everything. I swear, if he goes all Steve Irwin on me, I'm totally going to crush his windpipe. I'm really not all that interesting, I don't understand his fascination with every aspect of my life, and I wish it would come to an end.
Since Kittle's passing, our other male cat, Ti, has stepped (oozed) into his role as Top Cat. Only... he's a huge asshole now! He's really throwing his weight around with the other cats, and I don't like it. Squee is getting the brunt of it, and I'm about to invest in a water pistol because he starts drama with her ALL THE TIME. I've tried to get the dogs to interfere, but they just bark and chase Squee, which doesn't help. It's aggravating. Just today they were going at it and rolled into the knob for the base heater, turning it on and filling the apartment with that godawful stench of burning dust since we haven't used it in months. Argh! I don't know what to do with him. What a jerk!
And here I thought I was safe hiding in my apartment. Sheesh, if things are going to be this ridiculous on the homefront, I may as well go out!
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Good-bye, old friend
Today I took our oldest cat, Kittle, to the vet to be euthanized. I'm not feeling particularly eloquent at the moment, but my mom wrote a lovely post about him on her blog, so if you'd like to check it out, here's the link.
Pray to whatever you believe in that your cat never gets oral cancer. It's a fucking nightmare, and no animal deserves to go through that. Ever. Kittle was the best cat in the world and will be missed for the rest of our days.
Pray to whatever you believe in that your cat never gets oral cancer. It's a fucking nightmare, and no animal deserves to go through that. Ever. Kittle was the best cat in the world and will be missed for the rest of our days.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
It's Inadequate Blender Appreciation Day!
I mean, why not, right? There's a day for everything else under the sun. So! I must confess to you that I don't usually appreciate my blender. It's an Oster 14 speed model. It is not, sadly, a Vitamix, and therein lies my displeasure.
"The blades are willing, but the motor is weak." Matthew 26:41
Now, I'm a woman who loves her smoothies. In the old days, when I worked at a mall *shudder*, I would sometimes hop in my car on my lunch break and drive across the street to Smoothie King. Yes, I DROVE there. I wasn't about to run across 8 lanes of busy traffic. Anyway, I'd buy a PB & grape smoothie and just have that for lunch. Yum! I wanted to indulge in frozen goodness at home as well. So much cheaper!
Everyone who is a cruel taskmaster of small appliances, raise your hand. I drove my old blender into a deep depression, then left it for dead when I moved away from Florida. I also KO'd the toaster oven because I broiled bell peppers in it ALL THE TIME, but if the broil feature is there, it should work! I don't think I really ask too much of machinery. Do I?
So we bought the Oster soon after we got here in 2010. When I use the "smoothie" setting, it sounds like it's on the losing side of a life or death battle. Last month I made a smoothie and it was hideous looking. Pouring it into a glass didn't do it any favors. "That looks like shark chum," I thought. Then I decided it would be fun to do an ugly smoothie series. With pictures! :D
Shark Chum!
Shark Chum consists of 1/2 a frozen banana, 1/2 a mango, 7 raspberries, a small handful of blueberries, 1 tbsp flaxseed meal, 2 purple kale leaves, 1/2 cup unfiltered apple juice, and a splash of water.
Linoleum!
That smoothie reminds me of the floors in supermarkets in the 80s, hence the name. It's 1 banana, 1 handful of golden raspberries, 1 handful blueberries, 1 handful fresh spinach leaves, 1 tsp flaxseed meal, 1 large spoonful natural peanut butter, 1/2 cup apple juice, and ice. I was dismayed when I realized that I kinda like this smoothie's appearance. I made the same thing a few days later with more spinach, intending to call it Pond Scum, but it was rather pretty, and I didn't bother with taking a picture.
Itchy Rash!
Yeah... this was a stretch. It's not really ugly, I know. *sigh* 1 frozen banana, 1/2 mango, 1 nectarine, 3-4 strawberries, 1 handful raspberries, 1/2 cup non-dairy milk, 1/2 cup water, ice (this made two servings). Itchy Rash really took the wind out of my sails. The ugly smoothie project was then placed on the back burner.
Until today. I was hungry, but I didn't want to have to make the effort to chew my food. I'm sure you can all relate. So into the blender went 1 frozen banana, 7 blackberries, 1 large spoonful of natural peanut butter, 2 green kale leaves, 1/2 cup of vanilla soy yogurt, 1/2 cup apple juice, 1/4 cup almond milk, and ice. Right before I turned the blender on, I started to get excited by the mess it was sure to make. And then...
Redemption
The blender's redemption. Or revenge, depending on how you look at it. There were no large chunks of ice, the whole thing was uniform in texture, and the color was nice. I give up.
If I were wearing a hat, I'd throw it on the ground and stomp on it.
So my blender isn't all that inadequate after all. Maybe yours isn't either. I may drool over Vitamix blenders when I'm out at a store, but I come home to my Oster every night. Still... there's no harm in just looking...
*squirms in seat*
Oh, baby.
*ahem* Anyway, my blender is just fine and I shouldn't be so hard on it. I feel like I should present it with some jewelry or something. Maybe I'll just give the washable parts a bubble bath in the sink tonight. A thank you for all the hard work it does.
Inadequate Blender Appreciation Day!
Now, I'm a woman who loves her smoothies. In the old days, when I worked at a mall *shudder*, I would sometimes hop in my car on my lunch break and drive across the street to Smoothie King. Yes, I DROVE there. I wasn't about to run across 8 lanes of busy traffic. Anyway, I'd buy a PB & grape smoothie and just have that for lunch. Yum! I wanted to indulge in frozen goodness at home as well. So much cheaper!
Everyone who is a cruel taskmaster of small appliances, raise your hand. I drove my old blender into a deep depression, then left it for dead when I moved away from Florida. I also KO'd the toaster oven because I broiled bell peppers in it ALL THE TIME, but if the broil feature is there, it should work! I don't think I really ask too much of machinery. Do I?
So we bought the Oster soon after we got here in 2010. When I use the "smoothie" setting, it sounds like it's on the losing side of a life or death battle. Last month I made a smoothie and it was hideous looking. Pouring it into a glass didn't do it any favors. "That looks like shark chum," I thought. Then I decided it would be fun to do an ugly smoothie series. With pictures! :D
Shark Chum consists of 1/2 a frozen banana, 1/2 a mango, 7 raspberries, a small handful of blueberries, 1 tbsp flaxseed meal, 2 purple kale leaves, 1/2 cup unfiltered apple juice, and a splash of water.
That smoothie reminds me of the floors in supermarkets in the 80s, hence the name. It's 1 banana, 1 handful of golden raspberries, 1 handful blueberries, 1 handful fresh spinach leaves, 1 tsp flaxseed meal, 1 large spoonful natural peanut butter, 1/2 cup apple juice, and ice. I was dismayed when I realized that I kinda like this smoothie's appearance. I made the same thing a few days later with more spinach, intending to call it Pond Scum, but it was rather pretty, and I didn't bother with taking a picture.
Yeah... this was a stretch. It's not really ugly, I know. *sigh* 1 frozen banana, 1/2 mango, 1 nectarine, 3-4 strawberries, 1 handful raspberries, 1/2 cup non-dairy milk, 1/2 cup water, ice (this made two servings). Itchy Rash really took the wind out of my sails. The ugly smoothie project was then placed on the back burner.
Until today. I was hungry, but I didn't want to have to make the effort to chew my food. I'm sure you can all relate. So into the blender went 1 frozen banana, 7 blackberries, 1 large spoonful of natural peanut butter, 2 green kale leaves, 1/2 cup of vanilla soy yogurt, 1/2 cup apple juice, 1/4 cup almond milk, and ice. Right before I turned the blender on, I started to get excited by the mess it was sure to make. And then...
The blender's redemption. Or revenge, depending on how you look at it. There were no large chunks of ice, the whole thing was uniform in texture, and the color was nice. I give up.
If I were wearing a hat, I'd throw it on the ground and stomp on it.
So my blender isn't all that inadequate after all. Maybe yours isn't either. I may drool over Vitamix blenders when I'm out at a store, but I come home to my Oster every night. Still... there's no harm in just looking...
*squirms in seat*
Oh, baby.
*ahem* Anyway, my blender is just fine and I shouldn't be so hard on it. I feel like I should present it with some jewelry or something. Maybe I'll just give the washable parts a bubble bath in the sink tonight. A thank you for all the hard work it does.
Inadequate Blender Appreciation Day!
Friday, August 5, 2011
The power of guilt compels you! - OR - I'm gonna be a killer beauty queen!
Long story short: I used to be REALLY fat, then I lost about a hundred pounds (in the process I went vegetarian, then vegan, which helped), became a militant fitness cyborg, moved across the country, became a lazy slob. If you don't want to know the details, skip the next unnecessarily long paragraph. Otherwise, enjoy!
Long story long: Early on in the 2007 NFL season I was watching a game and the announcers were talking about the star quarterback on the screen and they mentioned his height and weight. This man was a full foot taller than me and our weight was identical. And I didn't even care. A few months later I fell into a deep depression and had no appetite at all. I carried a small bag of trail mix around with me in case I had to nibble a bit to keep me from passing out. My appetite eventually came back, and I felt guilty about eating meat, since I'd been a vegetarian before, so I went veg again on January 1, 2008. I cut out eggs in October of that year. I walked a lot too, which helped. In May of 2009 we decided to move to Portland, which motivated me to really get in shape. I gradually increased both physical activity and attention to nutrition, until all traces of my humanity had vanished. I did yoga, weight training, kickboxing, and walking. As a side benefit, my kickboxing freaked out my step dad. One day I threw a punch as he walked by (UNINTENTIONALLY) and he jumped like five feet away, and after that always gave me a really wide berth. As for food, every day I made a chart. I wrote down every item that passed my lips (every drop of oil, every grain of salt), the calories they contained, calories from fat, total fat, saturated fat, sodium, total carbs, sugar, and protein. I looked up nutrition facts for fresh produce and anything that didn't have a label. I never added sugar to anything. At the end of each day I added up the numbers and studied the data to see what had worked well and what could be improved or eliminated. Yes, really. And I went vegan on December 4th of that year. By the time we left Florida on May 1, 2010, I was one hundred pounds lighter than I had been in 2007, and I was a MACHINE! Then we got here I didn't have a goal to work toward and everything went to shit and I gained like 20 pounds, and now I'm only about 10-12 pounds heavier than I was upon arriving. Not too bad, but I need to fix this.
Over the last year I've coyly flirted with fitness. The I-love-you-I-hate-you routine hasn't done me any favors. I am a lazy person unless I have a goal I'm determined to achieve. Then I found out about Krav Maga, and now I have a goal. I have to get in shape so that I can learn this! Why? Uh, becauseI want to break someone's jaw! I feel it's important for women to know how to defend themselves and be able to escape quickly should the unthinkable ever happen. ;) Oh, and I'm thinking I want to get a bike soon, too. I do live in one of the most bike-friendly cities in the country, after all. There. Goal is set, so let's do this!
But I'm tired. I don't wanna. I'm busy looking at stuff online. :/
Then I found a CrossFit video on Youtube. I wanna preface this by saying I'm not really interested in CrossFit, but there are some really motivating videos out there. As I lounged around, watching this, I felt a small stirring of desire to get up, but not enough to actually do so. That is, until the middle of the video, around 1:54 or so, and then I felt immensely guilty for my inactivity...
*blinks back tears* If a man with no hands and tiny little stumps for legs and a 65 year old woman can get their workouts in, then I have absolutely no excuse. At all. That does it.
I spent a few days agonizing over what protein powder I wanted to buy. I'm a believer in protein powders when you're training. Back when I was still doing dairy, I used Biochem's 100% whey protein powder, and not that I'd endorse animal-derived products now, but if you're looking for a good whey protein powder, that's it. I really liked it. But what about now? Biochem makes a vegan protein powder, and I hemmed and hawed between that and Life's Basics plant protein, but ended up purchasing...
...in double chocolate. It was the best deal for a soy-free mix, which is what I wanted. (Website!)
So I'm using Jamie Eason's Workout plan for three days a week, which I started today. Did my workout, had my shake, and I feel great! Actually, my arms feel liked cooked noodles and I know tomorrow I'm going to curse every move I have to make, but it's worth it. I'll rotate workouts every month to keep things fresh. I'll do cardio on Sundays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays, and take Saturdays off. I started a food log, but it's not as insane as the previous one I kept. Yet. So that's the scheme. And it'll work! I'm gonna be all hot AND deadly. >:)
In semi-related news, you know how they always tell you that shopping the bulk bins at the grocery store saves you money? IT'S TRUE. I made a killing at the store today and only spent about $40. This day is just full of win.
Long story long: Early on in the 2007 NFL season I was watching a game and the announcers were talking about the star quarterback on the screen and they mentioned his height and weight. This man was a full foot taller than me and our weight was identical. And I didn't even care. A few months later I fell into a deep depression and had no appetite at all. I carried a small bag of trail mix around with me in case I had to nibble a bit to keep me from passing out. My appetite eventually came back, and I felt guilty about eating meat, since I'd been a vegetarian before, so I went veg again on January 1, 2008. I cut out eggs in October of that year. I walked a lot too, which helped. In May of 2009 we decided to move to Portland, which motivated me to really get in shape. I gradually increased both physical activity and attention to nutrition, until all traces of my humanity had vanished. I did yoga, weight training, kickboxing, and walking. As a side benefit, my kickboxing freaked out my step dad. One day I threw a punch as he walked by (UNINTENTIONALLY) and he jumped like five feet away, and after that always gave me a really wide berth. As for food, every day I made a chart. I wrote down every item that passed my lips (every drop of oil, every grain of salt), the calories they contained, calories from fat, total fat, saturated fat, sodium, total carbs, sugar, and protein. I looked up nutrition facts for fresh produce and anything that didn't have a label. I never added sugar to anything. At the end of each day I added up the numbers and studied the data to see what had worked well and what could be improved or eliminated. Yes, really. And I went vegan on December 4th of that year. By the time we left Florida on May 1, 2010, I was one hundred pounds lighter than I had been in 2007, and I was a MACHINE! Then we got here I didn't have a goal to work toward and everything went to shit and I gained like 20 pounds, and now I'm only about 10-12 pounds heavier than I was upon arriving. Not too bad, but I need to fix this.
Over the last year I've coyly flirted with fitness. The I-love-you-I-hate-you routine hasn't done me any favors. I am a lazy person unless I have a goal I'm determined to achieve. Then I found out about Krav Maga, and now I have a goal. I have to get in shape so that I can learn this! Why? Uh, because
But I'm tired. I don't wanna. I'm busy looking at stuff online. :/
Then I found a CrossFit video on Youtube. I wanna preface this by saying I'm not really interested in CrossFit, but there are some really motivating videos out there. As I lounged around, watching this, I felt a small stirring of desire to get up, but not enough to actually do so. That is, until the middle of the video, around 1:54 or so, and then I felt immensely guilty for my inactivity...
*blinks back tears* If a man with no hands and tiny little stumps for legs and a 65 year old woman can get their workouts in, then I have absolutely no excuse. At all. That does it.
I spent a few days agonizing over what protein powder I wanted to buy. I'm a believer in protein powders when you're training. Back when I was still doing dairy, I used Biochem's 100% whey protein powder, and not that I'd endorse animal-derived products now, but if you're looking for a good whey protein powder, that's it. I really liked it. But what about now? Biochem makes a vegan protein powder, and I hemmed and hawed between that and Life's Basics plant protein, but ended up purchasing...
...in double chocolate. It was the best deal for a soy-free mix, which is what I wanted. (Website!)
So I'm using Jamie Eason's Workout plan for three days a week, which I started today. Did my workout, had my shake, and I feel great! Actually, my arms feel liked cooked noodles and I know tomorrow I'm going to curse every move I have to make, but it's worth it. I'll rotate workouts every month to keep things fresh. I'll do cardio on Sundays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays, and take Saturdays off. I started a food log, but it's not as insane as the previous one I kept. Yet. So that's the scheme. And it'll work! I'm gonna be all hot AND deadly. >:)
In semi-related news, you know how they always tell you that shopping the bulk bins at the grocery store saves you money? IT'S TRUE. I made a killing at the store today and only spent about $40. This day is just full of win.
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