Ambiguity: I haz none

I seem to lack an air of mystery, or any feminine allure to speak of, and this makes me sad. I'm fairly obvious and predictable. You know my age range, you know my sexual preferences (...or do you? *exaggerated wink*), you know what I eat, what music I like, movies, blah blah blah. I used to be spicy and exciting, and now I feel like a bland, doughy dumpling in creamy gravy. Yuck.

Hope is renewed, though! At present, I have approximately 20 white hairs on my head. That's not including any that might be in the back, as I can't see them. Half of them are clustered on the right side of my head toward the top. On one hand, this is horrifying. On the other, this has great potential. We associate gray and white hair with age, but I have no wrinkles, so people will wonder about my age. Assuming I sprout more whites, and if I play my cards right, I can be 50 years old for 40 years. I'll be the envy of grandmothers all the world over. That, and I can be Storm for Halloween every year. Yeah!



:D
It would probably be advantageous for me to go to a nightclub and have someone snap a candid photo of me making out with an attractive woman, and then a really hot guy, just to stir up doubt and wonder. One mystery at a time, though, my good people. All questions will be unanswered in due time.

I mean, when you see the title "And Worse" you probably have some expectations. Then you come here and I'm talking about lettuce and Chihuahuas. What the fuck? The story behind "And Worse" needs to be told, through my own warped vision of it, and I'll get around to that soon. I also need some adventures to write about. Something besides laundry and what I'm making for dinner. (I have two loads in the dryer and I'm making a sweet & savory vegetable sauce to serve over pasta.)

I'm currently in the process of creating the ultimate Christmas music collection. And Halloween music as well. This way, I'll be all done by the holidays. Muahahaha!

Also, I need to become fairly wealthy within the next couple of years so that I can buy a house and won't have to leave Portland. I know I said I'd buy a house in St. Louis, but let's get real: I love it here. Will she raise the money in time? Will she stay or go? See, mystery and intrigue.

There you go.