It's Inadequate Blender Appreciation Day!

I mean, why not, right? There's a day for everything else under the sun. So! I must confess to you that I don't usually appreciate my blender. It's an Oster 14 speed model. It is not, sadly, a Vitamix, and therein lies my displeasure.

"The blades are willing, but the motor is weak." Matthew 26:41
Now, I'm a woman who loves her smoothies. In the old days, when I worked at a mall *shudder*, I would sometimes hop in my car on my lunch break and drive across the street to Smoothie King. Yes, I DROVE there. I wasn't about to run across 8 lanes of busy traffic. Anyway, I'd buy a PB & grape smoothie and just have that for lunch. Yum! I wanted to indulge in frozen goodness at home as well. So much cheaper!

Everyone who is a cruel taskmaster of small appliances, raise your hand. I drove my old blender into a deep depression, then left it for dead when I moved away from Florida. I also KO'd the toaster oven because I broiled bell peppers in it ALL THE TIME, but if the broil feature is there, it should work! I don't think I really ask too much of machinery. Do I?

So we bought the Oster soon after we got here in 2010. When I use the "smoothie" setting, it sounds like it's on the losing side of a life or death battle. Last month I made a smoothie and it was hideous looking. Pouring it into a glass didn't do it any favors. "That looks like shark chum," I thought. Then I decided it would be fun to do an ugly smoothie series. With pictures! :D

Shark Chum!
Shark Chum consists of 1/2 a frozen banana, 1/2 a mango, 7 raspberries, a small handful of blueberries, 1 tbsp flaxseed meal, 2 purple kale leaves, 1/2 cup unfiltered apple juice, and a splash of water.

Linoleum!
That smoothie reminds me of the floors in supermarkets in the 80s, hence the name. It's 1 banana, 1 handful of golden raspberries, 1 handful blueberries, 1 handful fresh spinach leaves, 1 tsp flaxseed meal, 1 large spoonful natural peanut butter, 1/2 cup apple juice, and ice. I was dismayed when I realized that I kinda like this smoothie's appearance. I made the same thing a few days later with more spinach, intending to call it Pond Scum, but it was rather pretty, and I didn't bother with taking a picture.

Itchy Rash!
Yeah... this was a stretch. It's not really ugly, I know. *sigh* 1 frozen banana, 1/2 mango, 1 nectarine, 3-4 strawberries, 1 handful raspberries, 1/2 cup non-dairy milk, 1/2 cup water, ice (this made two servings). Itchy Rash really took the wind out of my sails. The ugly smoothie project was then placed on the back burner.

Until today. I was hungry, but I didn't want to have to make the effort to chew my food. I'm sure you can all relate. So into the blender went 1 frozen banana, 7 blackberries, 1 large spoonful of natural peanut butter, 2 green kale leaves, 1/2 cup of vanilla soy yogurt, 1/2 cup apple juice, 1/4 cup almond milk, and ice. Right before I turned the blender on, I started to get excited by the mess it was sure to make. And then...

Redemption
The blender's redemption. Or revenge, depending on how you look at it. There were no large chunks of ice, the whole thing was uniform in texture, and the color was nice. I give up.

If I were wearing a hat, I'd throw it on the ground and stomp on it.

So my blender isn't all that inadequate after all. Maybe yours isn't either. I may drool over Vitamix blenders when I'm out at a store, but I come home to my Oster every night. Still... there's no harm in just looking...


*squirms in seat*

Oh, baby.

*ahem* Anyway, my blender is just fine and I shouldn't be so hard on it. I feel like I should present it with some jewelry or something. Maybe I'll just give the washable parts a bubble bath in the sink tonight. A thank you for all the hard work it does.

Inadequate Blender Appreciation Day!